The Tendercrisp Bacon Chedder Ranch

When my belly starts a-rumblin’
and I’m Jonesin’ for a treat,
I close my eyes for a big surprise
the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
The breasts they grow on trees
and streams of bacon ranch dressing
flow right up to your knees

There’s tumbleweeds of bacon
and cheddar paves the streets
Folks don’t front ya ‘cause you got the juice
there’s a train of ladies coming with a nice caboose never get in trouble, never need an excuse
That’s the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
No one tells you to behave (behave)
Your wildest fantasies come true
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves

Red onions make you laugh instead
and french fries grow like weeds
You get to veg all day
all the lotto tickets pay
there’s a king who wants you to have it your way,
That’s the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch

I love burros

Poor burro.

Stick a Fork in Maryland Basketball. It's done!

Maryland's basketball season finally ended last night at the hands of the South Carolina Gamecocks. It capped a frustrating season for any Terp fan. We can sweep Duke but also be swept by Clemson. I think Gary is sitting in his locked office in his wifebeater swigging the juice in his flask wondering where he went wrong this season. At least that's what I'd be doing if I were him.

Mass Media...

I've found the major headlines lately have been appalling. Let's think about what's been plastered across the headlines. Martha Stewart going to/released from prison. The Scott Peterson murder trial. The Michael Jackson child molestation trial. Michael Shiavo vs. the Schindlers for Terri Schiavo. I can't comprehend how people are so interested in these stories. It's sickening.

Sadly, I can see the ramifications of blowing these stories out of proportion. People start meddling around like it's their god-given mission. Save Terri Shiavo! Give me a break. This woman has been in a non-responsive vegetative state for 15 years. 15 years! Do people really expect her to recover to a previous healthy state? Let the poor woman go already. What makes this story so much sicker are the politicians that are trying to use this poor woman as a tool. For instance, Tom DeLay declared that "one thing that God has brought to us is Terri Schiavo, to help elevate the visibility of what is going on in America." This coming from a man who is under investigation for possible laundering of campaign funds and other alleged misdeeds. What a joke. But I digress. And something else I found more sickening. Jeb Bush tried to use the Florida Department of Child & Families to take custody of Terri Shiavo under the guise that Michael Shiavo is negligent. He even sent state police to remove her from her hospice. If you don't believe me, check it out:

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/11233240.hml

But of course that story doesn't make the headlines because it reflects poorly on Jebby who also has ambitions to become President some day. After Judge Greer found out about these actions, he signed an order Wednesday afternoon forbidding the DCF from ''taking possession of Theresa Marie Schiavo or removing her'' from the hospice. He directed ''each and every and singular sheriff of the state of Florida'' to enforce his order.

My personal opinion is that DeLay is right. Terri Shiavo is elevating the visibility of what is going on in America, but not in the way he's intending. She's showing how our some people at very high levels of power are manipulating the public and our laws to get what they want for personal or political gain. The worst part is that people are falling for it.

Another interesting article that's related:
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/03/29/opinion/29krugman.html

The Joys of Travel

I can truly understand the inefficiencies of the airline industry. I've been flying the Delta Shuttle to La Guardia for the past 6 months. There's a terminal dedicated to those flights at the airport. There are 7 or 8 gates for a maximum of 4 planes, 2 to/from Boston and 2 to/from Washington DC. They could use those extra gates for other airlines to broaden competition and lower my expensive ass tickets. Most of the time, I'm paying more to fly 30 min from NY to DC than my flight from NY to Seattle. And then they can't even get themselves organized. This past Thursday they boarded the Boston people on the plane destined for DC and vice versa. Everything got delayed for an hour as they deplaned both planes, figured out which crew was supposed to work which plane, reboard and finally take off. And my federal tax dollars are subsidizing these monopolizing morons?

With the expensive price of flying and my having to start covering my own expenses, I figure I'm going to start driving to Connecticut. I got myself an E-ZPass this past week, and I must say...it's fantastic. No more carrying small bills. No more waiting in those ridiculously long cash lines. It's a wonderful piece of technology, but I can't help thinking how similar it is to casinos. All the money I would've been handing a cashier or throwing in a basket was an electronic blip instead. I have no idea how much I paid to drive from Bethesda to Danbury, especially those random tolls on the Garden State Parkway. God bless the credit card.

Troubles Abrewing

You know you're in trouble when you have gas BEFORE you start eating your Taco Bell.

The Good Son

I try to be a good son, but hopefully not this wretched brat:



Anyway, here's how I try. When my parents drove me to the airport on Sunday they were talking again about their upcoming trip to Oregon, which I have to add is a beautiful state. They mentioned they haven't booked their flights yet. I go ahead and book 2 first-class tickets for them using my miles. They've never flown first-class before, so hopefully they'll enjoy being addressed by name, the hot meals, custom-made sundaes, and free back-rubs.